Tuesday, 6 January 2009

5 a side woes

Over the last couple of years I've been playing a fair bit of 5 a side. I'm not particularly good but work hard and tend to get my share of goals -2 or 3 a game........that is until the last 6 weeks.

I must I have played around 7 games with a grand total of 1, yes read that correctly, ONE goal. You name it I've hit it- back wall,side wall, ground, team mates and all. The back of the net is proving a harder thing to hit. Its having an adverse effect on the rest of my game now too. It's in my head now and I have a monkey on my back. My famous rage even came out 2 games ago and that ended with our match ball being stuck in the Soccer World roofing.

I need your help here-how can I get back amongst the goals?


moDtheGod said...

This is a joke, right? We're the most useless shower of cunts ever.

The fastest Tim has ever moved is when he heard that the last pie in Clarks was going cheap and even then he sent someone else to go for him.

Kenny is well known for an inability to score, be it on the pitch or in the sack.

As for me, well I've not played to any sort of level since, well basically since primary school and even when I did, I was a defender! Even if I make the odd re-appearance, a la DUSoP last year, I can't run for more than 60 minutes and my knee is likely to cave in.

Scott is about the closest you'll get to any footballing ability, and he's a fair Maradona type. Fat, lazy, petulant cunt.

If I were you, I'd start aiming your shots closer to the goal, but just slightly away from the goalie...

Amatay said...

Been bang on that Relentless energy shit since reading this blog last time mate. I love it lol

Mountain Man said...

Dom's post made me laugh, and it's probably true lol !

I used to manage an 11 a-side team, perhaps you need some motivational assistance from the pitchside Mr Walsh ?

TheHat said...

Good stuff Amatay, Relentless is definately the way forward. Hope you are drinking the 'Origin' type though - the other one is brutal.

Will, I've been in decent form at Soccer World recently - grabbing 7 of my teams 12 goals on Monday - but can't really think of a solution to your woes. Think you're maybe missing one thing.... ability!

Will Walsh said...

Haha it may not be of any use for my problems Dom but your post sure as hell made me laugh!

I've actually played against one of your former proteges Tim- a young man by the name of Kevin Dunn. He clearly wasn't coached much by you as he really is pretty darn good.

And Scott well done for using the first opportunity possible to mention your 7 goal haul on Monday and abuse me at the same time.

Mountain Man said...

I hope that was Kev Dunn jnr, and not his dad ! Not a bad player, but I've had even better on my books in the past ! ;-)

In fact, one time EPL and SPL superstar Andy Dow turned out for my team one afternoon for a brief cameo !